$ ssh -L 15900:localhost:5900 にたも@自宅

こうすればよかったわけだ
だがしかし!

VNC viewer for X version 4.0b4 - built May 9 2004 22:17:26
Copyright (C) 2002-2003 RealVNC Ltd.
See http://www.realvnc.com for information on VNC.

Mon Jun 14 11:38:28 2004
CConn: connected to host localhost port 15900
CConnection: Server supports RFB protocol version 3.6
CConnection: Using RFB protocol version 3.3
main: Local loop-back connections are disabled.

Linuxで3.6が使用できるクライアントみつかんね
鯖のプロトコルVer下げるのがてっとりばやそうだなぁ